What does my dog say?

Heyyy!

So I was thinking a lot what should I write here. And then my dog came to my room barking because it wanted to jump on my bed, but I didn’t let it and hey, I came with an idea to represent my dog to the internet, because, believe me, she is hilarious.

CAM03094So I have an english bulldog. ( haha, I love cats, but I have dog, kinda funny plot twist 😀 )It is a female dog, and her name is Luta. She was born in 2008 April 23rd. Her zodiac sign is Taurus and she is Rat if we count when she was born according to the east zodiac. It may sound stupid, but she is like human and she has stroooooong character.

Characteristic:

  • She snores like a big 50-year-old man, or even louder. She snores louder than my dad (that is something, cause my dad does snore really loud). My friends are always making laugh from her when they hear her snoring. Well, they also make laugh from me, because I snore too, and WELL SORRY PEOPLE GENETIC IS CALLING, BETTER SHUT YOUR YEARS DOWN.
  • and she farts like a human. And these farts are reaaaaally stinky. Fun fact is, that she is scared of her own sounds she make form her butt. And my dad’s. Don’t know why, but when she or my dad make a fart, Luta just runs to another room being really scared. We make a guess that it is consequence of the New Year’s fireworks which broke our balconies’ windows 4 years ago.
  • Luta is veeeeeeeery stubborn dog and it drives me nuts. If she doesn’t want to go somewhere, she will take hold in the ground
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    stubborn chick

    and go nowhere. And then she’ll give me a glance saying: “why are you dragging me, I ain’t going nowhere, I wanna stand here and make you look like an idiot”. Believe me, I know what I’m saying, I’m living with this dog for 6 years.

  • She likes to sniff all the stinky stuff. And she knows that it makes me crazy. And she even does that on purpose, If I drag her from the standing position, she will go for 5 metres easily, but then she sees some bushes and sniffs it hard with her snoring sounds, and satisfaction comes within her deep nose noises.
  • Sometimes, when we are in our village, she eats chickens poo.
  • She doesn’t like water. When she was a little cutie doggy, she used to have fun in big bowl full of water, but then we took her to the river and she started drowning and from then, she is terrified with water.
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    no photographs, sir

    This dog is not camera’s man.

  • She is very keen on going on a trip with a car. Sometimes when we talk and accidentally say word “važiuoti” (in English all synonyms are cool: go,travel, drive, ride, etc) Luta will run over with her ears saying:” WE’RE GOING SOMEHWERE OH MY GOD TAKE ME WITH YOU”. She looks so sweet with her facial expression like this. Yes, you read right, she has facial expressions.

 

  • And now about them. Her eyes are like human’s. And she moves her ears to express herself. For example:’Get away from me’ expression: ears pulled up, sarcastic look.
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    ‘I was insulted’ expression: ears pulled down, hopeless look
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    ‘I don’t like you’ expression: ears in normal position, really sarcastical look
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    And a lot of more
    As you can see, she really likes poses of her left side.
  • The worst thing that my dog can do to you is just lick your face till you die.

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  • She likes to sleep in the middle of my bed. My bed is not very big, and she practically is taking half of my bed.
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  • Dad habituated her to sit on the armchair together with him while he is watching TV. She is big ass chick and I have no idea how they fit together because I don’t.
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  • Dad also habituated her to eat waffle cone filled with ice-cream. And no matter how silently you open the plastic pack of ice-cream, no matter how quietly you crunch the waffle, she will find you and she will bark on you until you give her that waffle.
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    I see that face every time I eat waffles.
  • Also Luta feels your emotions. When you are sad, she will set her bootie against yours and put her head on your knee and be with you. And when you are happy, she is happy too, she comes to me, meets me when I come home, asks me to scratch her back or ass a bit, and is good when we are walking outside.
  • She sleeps for approximately 20 hours per day.
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  • She has a lot of toys, and never plays with them, but nope, we can’t throw them away, because she will be sad and lost and ignore you for the rest of the day.
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    Her face after morning cuddling
  • Luta doesn’t like cuddling.
  • And she is on the diet. For 4 years now. Yeah, she had, and still has a lot of health problems, one of the biggest was her stomach, but when she  started eating only dry food (waffles don’t count), she got better and she have never tasted any meat since.
    She is waking up my mom
    She is waking up my mom
  • She likes to wake me up in the mornings. And she does that really cute. She waits when you make a move, and then jump on the bed or just straight on you and will get to your face to see if your eyes are open. If yes, then she will lick you, if no, then she will lay back and sit and wait.
  • I make a guess that my dog is reincarnated cat. Sometimes she purrs when you scratch her ears and she likes to rub her head to people’s legs.
  • She is very very jealous of other pets, because she is very effeminated dog, like a little child Luta doesn’t share attention.
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    she was looking at rat this way all the time while I was holding it in my hands

    She likes to be on the spotlight. 1407920633938

  • She likes to watch the surroundings while sitting on the windowsill.

I guess these are the primmest things in her. But I can say that I can’t imagine my life without her. She is 5th member of family, she glues us all, she makes us laugh and happy. That dog is like a gift for us (yeah, 400$ gift from us to us).

 

that is all for the today. take care of yourselves and your pets if you have some 🙂
Stay fab, shave beard.
Domy, xxx

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